A number of years ago, I was speaking with a colleague who happened to be a city councilman. During our conversation, or I should say monologue, he went on for quite a while about all of the ways in which the city could be fixed.
He said, “I told them 40 different ways that we can fix the homeless issue, infrastructure, and some of the educational problems. I know I’m right. This stuff will work. I’ve seen it work. One of them even said I was right. It’s confusing because I can’t even get him to listen.”
But wait, there’s more. He wasn’t done. He kept talking, or complaining, for what seemed like another hour, although it probably was no more than five minutes. But I was tapped out. And I had to let him know.
His response?
He got upset and accused me of not listening like the others.
I told him that I agree with pretty much every proposal that he had. I said to him, “bruh you’re right. There’s no question in my mind that you are right. You have great ideas. Again, I believe you’re right.”
“But, you’re not effective. And therein lies the difference.”
He went, “Oh.”
See, the need to be right is a selfish motive. It becomes more about you than the problem to be solved or the person who might be in need of help.
Effectiveness is about the outcome, not the personalities involved. Place your focus there.
Whether it’s you or someone important to you, remember, it’s okay to be right. But for goodness sake, be effective.